Update! 'My husband has a dating app': Husband downloads Tinder because he's 'bored,' wife confronts him

Author image for Ben Weiss
Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Jan 15, 2023 2:00 PM EST

There are lots of things married people can do when they're bored; downloading Tinder is not one of them. That is unless, of course, the couple has made some kind of prior agreement, which was very much not the case in this scenario. This thread, which was posted to Reddit's r/TrueOffMyChest subreddit by u/Sufficient_Village87, does not provide very much confidence in the future of this relationship.

 

If you're in a relationship and you don't have approval from your partner to "browse the menu," so to speak, we've created a list of other options to consider to fill up your time. How about watching a movie or a show or getting into cooking or reading a darn book?! Literally, do any of those things before taking the first step to cheat. This dude claimed he just wanted to have casual non-flirtatious conversations. Ok. Well, then go to Reddit, or better yet, check out FAIL Blog (shameless plug!). Anything other than downloading Tinder.

 

For more stories like this, check out this list of first-date fails.

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  • 01
    Purple - "I know he is not physically cheating but he still uses dating apps." tinder
    via Good Faces Agency
  • 02
    Font - My husband has a dating app, I don't know how to feel about it Me and my husband just got married few months ago. We dated for over a year before that. Our relationship has been okay, we argue but it was nothing major. Today, I found out that reinstalled a dating app on his phone yesterday. I confronted him about it and he said he "was bored and wanted to chat with someone".
    via u/Sufficient_Village87
  • 03
    Font - He told me he never cheat, flirt, or entertain any thoughts to anyone. He said he made sure that the people he talks to know that he is only looking for casual conversation. I don't know what to do. I'm just so disappointed in him. Even early in our relationship he said he hates cheaters and we promised we would never cheat on each other. I know he is not physically cheating but he still uses dating app. Most people use it for dating or hookups. I just feel like its one step towards cheat
    via u/Sufficient_Village87
  • 04
    Font - aspiring_npc 18 hr. ago If he's bored, he can get a hobby. If he wants to chat, he can chat with his wife or friends. Married means exclusive. Tinder means available to hook up. A married man on Tinder means his marriage is significantly lacking, and instead of working on it with you, he's going to work it with another woman. ✩ 1.0k Reply Share
    via u/Sufficient_Village87
  • 05
    Font - No-Monitor97 · 18 hr. ago . ohhh ur not overreacting! why did he installed this app? this is a huge red flag▶▶▶ everyone knows what's this app for. he's already gaslighting u! if he has no intention of cheating on u then he must delete that app. 352 Reply Share
    via u/Sufficient_Village87
  • 06
    Font - imike1978 19 hr. ago Get on bumble. Play "that game" 209 Reply Share
    via u/Sufficient_Village87
  • 07
    Font - Sufficient_Village87 OP. 19 hr. ago On his words, girls respect the limit more than guys so if I'm on that game I'll even more be at the wrong
    via u/Sufficient_Village87
  • 08
    Font - sadboy1117 18 hr. ago . Bored and looking for someone to talk to on a dating app? Yeah okay he is lying to you and wants to have a sneaky link
    via u/Sufficient_Village87
  • 09
    Rectangle - NonFungibleTokin. 18 hr. ago If he just wanted casual conversation, he'd be on Reddit or any similar app that isn't built for dating. 45 Reply Share
    via u/Sufficient_Village87
  • 10
    Font - Whiskeygirl81 18 hr. ago Ask him since it is just casual conversations, if he would mind letting you see the messages from time to time. Or give you the log in to his account, so you can check it. I am not sure why someone would need to be on a dating app to just have conversations with people when there are other things other than dating apps
    via u/Sufficient_Village87
  • 11
    Rectangle - caramilk_twirl. 18 hr. ago No one is on dating apps to meet friends. What a load of bull he's trying to pull.
    via u/Sufficient_Village87
  • 12
    Font - MaxDeWinters2ndWife. 18 hr. ago edited 18 hr. ago He's gonna cheat on you. Maybe not today, maybe not tomm, but the goalpost is gonna keep creeping until one day you stumble across the proof he's having an affair. Maybe it will be a Snapchat of his also- married coworker naked in bed when you didn't even know he had Snapchat.
    via u/Sufficient_Village87
  • 13
    Font - How do I know? My husband started one of his coworkers at about year 9 of our marriage. You can probably guess how I found out. And yet, I remember all the way back to when we had first married and he just wanted "to chat with someone" and "would never cheat". He, too, hated cheaters and I never thought he would do it.
    via u/Sufficient_Village87
  • 14

    Here's an update from the OP!

    Font - Update: I didn't expect to see so many people commented. Thank you for all your support. I would like to give some updates and clarification: 1. He never been abusive to me. We had some issues, he would yell at me sometimes which I asked him to not do. Though I'm not going to lie, I usually raise my voice too when he does that. But other than that, he's been great.
    via u/Sufficient_Village87
  • 15
    Font - 2. It is difficult for me to just move back as I have obligations here such as school and work. But if worst comes to the worst I will ask my parents for help. 3. For those who said I have low self-confidence, you are right. I have been in an abusive relationship before and was always told that I'm at fault. Gone to therapy but sometimes the mindset still persists and I'm trying to change it.
    via u/Sufficient_Village87
  • 16
    Font - 4. I've talked to him, he said he was really sorry. He showed me the chats. It was nothing bad although I'm still disappointed that he had it on the first place and he never disclosed his marriage status. He always said that he's looking for friends though. He deleted the app and let me sign in on my phone. He promised he will never do it again and will try to fix it. As of now, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubts though I told him if he does this again or anything close to cheating,
    via u/Sufficient_Village87

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marriage tinder cheating dating apps reddit thread online dating Reddit dating
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